Networking

I had a chance to go to this month's Vancouver Blogger meet-up this past Thursday, at the St. Regis Grill and Bar in downtown Vancouver. This month's topic was "Rules, Norms and Web 2.0: Etiquette in an Era of Evolutionary Social [Dis]Organization" and was moderated by local well-known bloggers, Hummingbird604 (Raul Pacheco), Shane Gibson, Raincoaster and Colleen Coplick.

It was definitely a great turnout (50 bloggers) and was a fun way to network with other bloggers and learn something along the way. It was also certainly an eye-opening experience for me. I've only been using social media for a short time and like most people, am still trying to figure it out.

It was interesting to hear about the concept of etiquette and social media. I always instinctively new there were proper ways to communicate online but it was interesting to hear it quantified and now I make sure I try to follow or at least inform myself of what is acceptable and what is not.

WHO CREATES THE ETIQUETTE?

The panel used an analogy of being first to a party – whoever arrives first usually sets the tone for any kind of social event. If the partiers arrive first, you can bet the party will be pretty wild, but if you're 'vicar' is the first one to show up things will be certainly tamer. In another words, the early adopters usually set the rules of etiquette on any given social media platform.

I was surprised to learn that different sites, from DIGG to TECHNORATI, had different kinds of users and vastly different sets of norms. I'm sure I've inadvertantly broken a few rules on those sites when I first started using them.

STRATIFICATION

Raincoaster made an interesting comment about the city of Vancouver – that it is a "friendly city … along as you're within your own little group. People tend to put up walls … and don't let other people in …"

The same thing might be happening within social media – people are building walls and staying in their own groups. An example is the UNFOLLOW ALL MOVEMENT where people only follow the people they truly care about. I actually follow everyone who follows me because I like to come into contact with a varied group of people … although, the spammers can be annoying.

SOCIAL MEDIA AND BLOGS

I've been using social media mainly to promote my blog and meet other people. The questions becomes, 'how effective is social media for blogs?' I think it depends.

I had a conversation with another blogger and we agreed that while social media brought some decent traffic to our blogs, most of this traffic didn't mean an increase in comments, subscriptions or advertising revenue.

Anyways, I'll keep using social media and will probably focus more on the fun social side and meeting new people.  It will be interesting to see how it evolves over the next year.

FOLLOW ME on TWITTER

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I was at the bus stop today and noticed the lady beside me recoil in fear (or was it disgust?) when I looked at her. I finally realized I was scowling because the bus was late and the line to get on was huge – it had nothing to do with her. It immediately reminded me once again of the importance of first impressions.

People will often judge you by the clothing you wear or the expressions on your face (demeanour) for the simple fact that they don't know you. Unfortunately, humans are lazy creatures and they frame the world through their own egos, needs and desires. That lady must have thought I was mad at her for some reason but in fact, I was just p*ssed off at the bus. In retrospect, I think it's kind of funny.

Actually, I'm now getting annoyed because I wish people would attempt to dig deeper and make more of an effort to not judge so quickly.

So, what lesson did I (once again) learn today?

With regards to first impression, remember the following:

• Watch your expression when you're walking around or at work – constantly remind yourself to smile. One thing that works for me, is to not clench my mouth shut – I always try to keep it slightly open, so that I'm not frowning (which is my natural state)
• Dress well if you're going to be around people and you're trying to network – I know this is a no-brainer, but they always say dress for the job you want. Successful people usually dress well, even if they're going to the store for eggs.
• You're telling people about yourself through the way you look and act.

Does it mean you have to be phony?

That's a tough call. I personally don't respond well to phony people and it has the opposite effect on me, but some people just eat it up. I often wonder, can't they see through it? But, I should learn from my own rule and realize it has nothing to do with me.

Why should I care if people like me?

It's actually not about that. Having a good first impression is just a life strategy on getting what you want. Yes, it is subtle manipulation to a certain degree, but you never know where your next opportunity will come from so be on alert.

My new twitter friend, @StAlison suggested I should 'snatch the lady's bag and teach her a NYC lesson about staring', but of course, once again, I would be making it about me and it's more about her. It would be funny, though.

So, tomorrow I will be wearing my perma-grin regardless of the bus schedule. At the back of mind, I will be thinking 'gotta make a good first impression'

Photo: J-Dub

RELATED POSTS

• How to Choose Your Friends
• First Impression
• Communicating With Small Talk
• Dealing with Resentment
• Dealing with Criticism

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This is a guest post from a colleague of mine, Shannon Chiarenza. It's a great post on how to properly use Twitter for the best results. Shannon also came up with the concept for my blog and the banner, which I think looks great. I wrote a post last week on Twitter … but this one is better and has changed the way I look at Twitter. Check it out!

5 Reasons Why People Won't Follow you on Twitter

Many people use Twitter as an online marketing tool for their business but fail miserably at it because they don't get that Twitters main purpose is to carry on a conversation.

Here are a few common mistakes:

Mistake #1 Talking to yourself

This is something I had to learn the hard way and it's the same for your website content and all other things you put on the internet; people don't care about you and what you have to say unless it relates to them.

The fix:

Do your tweets look like this?: "just baked cookies, ate 3 already yum!".

Our self indulgent ego assumes we are the center of the universe...but we aren't and no one cares that you just ate cookies. Here's how to fix that statement so everyone else benefits from your baking:

"Just baked cookies, ate 3 already, so delicious here's the recipe" AHA! Now we love you, and we will RT (retweet) that so we too can be the ones that shared a great recipe and then you become this valuable resource for all good things...see how that works?

Or do your tweets look like this:

"Just updated my blog..." "Just updated my website..." "Just wrote this post..."

"Want to learn how to think like a millionaire? Click this link which leads to my affiliate website that I'm trying to pass off as something I read and liked when really I'm tricking you" (kinda like what I just did with the cookie recipe)

Twitter is social media, think of it like attending a gathering of people, you wouldn't approach someone and talk about yourself immediately because you look like a jerk. People want know "what's in it for me, how are you going to benefit my life?" Keep that in mind whenever using social media, especially while promoting your business.

Mistake #2 Presenting Yourself as a Business and Not a Person

Why would I want to follow ABC moving company? Even if I was moving, why would I want your boring tweets scrolling through my twitter updates? Seriously, no one likes advertisements and that's all you're doing is advertising. There are very few exceptions like Starbucks, they're a huge company with many fans and can get away with it, but for everyone else, we want to talk to a real person not a logo.

The Fix:

Talk to people, get to know them, comment on their tweets, RT the ones you like. Use your expertise in your field to jump into a conversation and give some advice but don't use twitter as a billboard for your business.

Mistake #3 Going on a Following Spree

I get many different people following me from personal trainers promoting their protein powder to wrestling enthusiast and I know they're only following me to gain more followers for themselves...but I check their updates anyway to see if they are worth following. What makes them worth following is seeing they converse with others and are actively participating in the bigger conversation through Twitter.

The other thing I check for is the ratio from followers to following, if they're following 1,200 people but only 200 are following them I know they went on a following spree clicking on anyone and everyone hoping to beef up their twitter followers. I usually won't follow back unless they have interesting tweets.

The Fix:

Stop following people and start tweeting interesting things, start a conversation. I've had people follow me with an empty twitter page, why would I follow you if you literally have nothing to say? Let the followers come to you, it's not a popularity contest, it's the quality of your tweets that matter.

Mistake #4 No one likes a Negative Nancy

Whining, complaining or just tweeting about all the things that piss you off in this world really won't land you too many followers. The exception to that is if you're clever and witty about it and it's become your trademark. However most of the time it's a drag and it makes you look sour and can be very bad for your business.

The Fix:

Look for positive things to say, compliment others on Twitter, brag about someone else's achievements, point out something that makes you happy and share it with others for them to try. Avoid talking politics and religion unless that is what you tweet about, it's too easy for those tweets to spiral into a heated argument...and they almost always do.

Mistake #5 Too Narrow of a Niche

I've had people follow me who tweet about something I'm not at all interested in like golf. I don't golf and I personally find golf incredibly boring, no offence to those that love the sport, it's just not my thing. So if you follow me and all of your tweets are about golfing I'm not going to follow you back because I have no interest in the sport.

The Fix:

Talk about other things too, comment on other conversations, post a link to a funny video. It's ok if many of your tweets are about golf as long as you add other things that aren't related so someone like me can find something in your tweets I can relate to.

And just for an added bonus:

Big, BIG Mistake...Direct Message Abuse

When someone follows you, never send a direct message that says: "thanks for following, check out my secrets to online wealth at www.Icouldcarelessaboutyou.com". I've stopped following a few people for that. This is better: "thank you for following I look forward to your tweets!" It's a bit generic and I get that a lot but it's much better than blatant self promotion!...Like this: Follow Me on Twitter.

RELATED POSTS

How I Use Twitter

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