Working in an office environment, it's always important to be courteous, professional and kind to our fellow employees. That's usually the best way to work in a team and get the most performance and productivity out of everyone. I would consider myself reasonably nice, but sometimes, I find that people try to take advantage of that ... I've met a few people over the years who've tried. It begs the question, can you be too nice?
I've been working in office for most of my career, as I'm sure most of you have done, and every once in a while come into contact with someone who could be termed as 'difficult to work with.' They're aggressive, rude, pushy and not at all polite and professional to those around them. And you know what … they get away with it! I think we all know someone in our office like this and for some reason, they're behaviour is tolerated.
And another thing – they frequently get the job done!
People like this quickly get a reputation and pretty soon, co-workers know not to mess with them and they get what they want. I know in the past, I've often been nice, but sometimes didn't get what I want. People would ignore me for days until I finally had to be a bit forceful. I'd be amazed when people jumped and gave me what I wanted – I thought I was being rude, but they actually apologized and provided the information. I almost think that people like it when you're assertive – they seem to respect you more.
FAMILIARITY BREEDS CONTEMPT
It's a great saying, but it actually rings true. If you're dealing with someone who you know is really 'nice' and you know they won't cause any problems, I think there may be a temptation to abuse this fact. Let's face it, work is stressful and sometimes we might go for the 'path of least resistance' If someone always says 'yes', we're going to keep going to them to get the job done.
Where do people who are pushovers get in life? Not very far, I'm sad to say. It almost seems that being nice can sometimes appears as being weak, which is why people think they can take advantage.
Some people I've known who aren't very nice at work, get the respect and even get people to do their work for them, yet move up in the ranks. They may not be terribly liked, but at the end of the day, who cares?
So, should we start getting nasty at work? Well, maybe not, but we can certainly start looking at the way we handle ourselves, if we're not getting the respect we deserve.
TO DO LIST
So, here is my to-do list with regards to being 'nice' and/or 'nasty' when you have to be:
- Have boundaries – learn to say no, if you have too much to do.
- If someone is being rude, stand up to them, even if it's your boss. You'll be surprised how they actually appreciate you telling them to calm down.
- Get the job done in a professional manner … but if you're not getting results, heads will have to roll! You must get assertive and maybe even forceful.
- People at work are (generally) not your friends – they have a job description and are required to perform a duty, so don't feel bad about pushing hard if you're not getting what you want.
I've often thought about the following two possibilities. Would I rather be feared and respected or loved but underestimated?
I think I'd rather be feared and respected. At least you're getting the job done, getting what you want out of life and basically, not broke.
Eventually, they can learn to love you.
Photo: SteveKeys
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